I just want to be happy.
I have put a years worth of my life and love into a relationship that I feel crap in.
I get told to ‘appreciate the time we spend together’ and ‘why do you always want more’
He makes me feel guilty for wanting to spend more than 1-2 days together… Mind you they’re not full days.
He makes me feel guilty, like I’m taking time away for him and seeing me is a chore.
I don’t want to feel guilty anymore.
I want to be loved, by everything I do.
I want someone to want to spend time with me.
I want someone to accept their feeling of being tired, and want to be tired and do nothing with me.
I am sorry ___ that I am not who you want me to be. You keep saying you love me ‘more’ and ‘you’re perfect’ but obviously I’m not to you.
I saw a photo today, and it was a little girl in the rain, screaming her lungs out… that is all I want to do right now is just scream. SO FUCKING LOUD.
Wish me an my emotionally challenging relationship well.
Dear ‘2 Weeks on’ post,
Reflection is a funny thing.
Anger is real but closure was not achieved.
That 9 months of ‘nothing’ killed my spirits & turned me into a child begging for acceptance.
It ended up being well over 2 weeks of no contact.
After this, and now, I am forever happy.
Yes, Jenna is content, how often do you hear me say that.
I have a wonderful partner who treats me far better than I deserve, he spoils me with is love and company. I am so lucky.
It has been 4 months now, take a few days either side and we are still cruising.
Although it is all coming along pretty fast, and I can’t imagine my life without his spark.
So, Dear boy and post below;
– You shot my confidence
– Trampled on my judgement
– Threw my soul
– And tossed everything in the bin.
But now I am happy.
I can breathe, think and have clarity.
It has now been two weeks since I last saw you/shared your bed & went for coffee.
It has also been two weeks since you have made contact (let’s be honest it’s been longer because I make contact first).
It has become clear (I have finally come to accept) with this hint of silence that I am no longer an interest of yours.
I am not going to lie it is hurtful, but I get it.
I want to thank you for introducing me to your friends, M*** and E***** are two of the most kind hearted souls I have met.
I have been missing the first few dates we went on, burgers + music and then Jazz bars with your friends later down the track.
I will miss feeling so comfortable and at ease with you, but I will not miss the feeling when I leave you and don’t hear from you, and you make me feel anxious, vulnerable and lost.
I think one of the reasons I really enjoyed your company was, the fact that you had a life that really inspired me. I hope one day I can have a job that creates inspiration for others.
I don’t know where you stand, because you haven’t told me.
If I am wrong let me know.
Yours Truly ,
To all you wonderful A** Holes out there who like to make a girl (or anyone) feel like they are worth as much as a 70c stamp.
You need to reevaluate your life,
People will say just don’t worry about it they’re not worth it. But if you’re emotionally invested in them and have made time and experienced intimacy and then they are no longer wanting to be around, and have not given you a reason. Then yes I think I have a right to be peeved.
I am a bubbly person but lately there has been someone that has been bringing me down. It seems they have 0 time for me, after months of seeing each other, having a bit of fun, meeting some of his lovely friends and family it seems he has completely dismissed me.
It is saddening that I can be shoved into a corner and feel this way when I thought that this person my company,
Yes I am sad that he isn’t trying with me but, I really struggle to move on when I don’t know why. I want to know why so that maybe I can reassess where I’m coming from.
YOU ARE KILLING ME!
what the F did I do to deserve the way you are treating me, and why oh why am I still trying/liking you.
I hate how you make me feel so great when we are around each other but I hate it even more when you make me feel the way I do now, Anxious, defeated, so very vulnerable, pathetic, wasted, embarrassed…this list could go on, but I don’t have the energy to put my words out there anymore. You have ruined my self esteem and depleted the strength I once had.
I hope I can walk away, and learn that I am worth more.
I am ok, and I am at the right place at the right time.
A mark or outline made by pressing something on to a softer substance.
(n. ˈɪm prɪnt; v. ɪmˈprɪnt)
1. a mark or indentation impressed on something.
2. any impression or impressed effect.
4. to mark by or as if by pressure.
5. to produce (a mark) on something by pressure.
6. to fix firmly on the mind.
7. to acquire or establish by imprinting: to imprint behavior.
8. to experience imprinting.
After years of being blonde (bleach) I have taken another step forward and gone dark
Are you fucking kidding me.
Am I that pathetic? that unworthy of something more?
I get stood on all the time, why do I let this happen.
What did I do wrong? I just want to leave and have a new life. Because I really can’t take much more of this.
There hasn’t ever been one person that wants to stick around in my life. Ever.
The world 50
Go on keep laughing at me.