To all you A** Holes out there

To all you wonderful A** Holes out there who like to make a girl (or anyone) feel like they are worth as much as a 70c stamp.

You need to reevaluate your life, 

People will say just don’t worry about it they’re not worth it. But if you’re emotionally invested in them and have made time and experienced intimacy and then they are no longer wanting to be around, and have not given you a reason. Then yes I think I have a right to be peeved.

I am a bubbly person but lately there has been someone that has been bringing me down. It seems they have 0 time for me, after months of seeing each other, having a bit of fun, meeting some of his lovely friends and family it seems he has completely dismissed me.

It is saddening that I can be shoved into a corner and feel this way when I thought that this person my company,
Yes I am sad that he isn’t trying with me but, I really struggle to move on when I don’t know why. I want to know why so that maybe I can reassess where I’m coming from.

YOU ARE KILLING ME!

what the F did I do to deserve the way you are treating me, and why oh why am I still trying/liking you.

I hate how you make me feel so great when we are around each other but I hate it even more when you make me feel the way I do now, Anxious, defeated, so very vulnerable, pathetic, wasted, embarrassed…this list could go on, but I don’t have the energy to put my words out there anymore. You have ruined my self esteem and depleted the strength I once had.

I hope I can walk away, and learn that I am worth more.

I am ok, and I am at the right place at the right time.

im•print

A mark or outline made by pressing something on to a softer substance.

im•print

(n. ˈɪm prɪnt; v. ɪmˈprɪnt)
n.

1. a mark or indentation impressed on something.
2. any impression or impressed effect.

v.t.

4. to mark by or as if by pressure.
5. to produce (a mark) on something by pressure.
6. to fix firmly on the mind.
7. to acquire or establish by imprinting: to imprint behavior.

v.i.

8. to experience imprinting.

Well I fucked up to put it kindly

Are you fucking kidding me.

Am I that pathetic? that unworthy of something more?

I get stood on all the time, why do I let this happen.

What did I do wrong? I just want to leave and have a new life. Because I really can’t take much more of this.
There hasn’t ever been one person that wants to stick around in my life. Ever.

The world    50
Jenna-Rose  0

Go on keep laughing at me.

 

What have I done?

There’s a boy…
A boy that will be leaving soon but after a month of going back home will be back…
But then he’s leaving, I’m so sick of goodbyes :( I just want some one to stay in my life and want to be with me.

Right now it’s ‘just a little fun’…

Fun can end up hurting, because I fear I am falling and I don’t want him to leave

Dep-suff-ression

And when I thought I had gotten close to the bottom…the floor beneath me opened up.

I tried to recover, I tried to breath, I tried to smack a smile on my face.

If it’s in the romance area, work area, or uni area nothing good has come so far… I’m not good enough for one guy and another just wants me for a few nights if fun, I hardly get recognised at work and well uni I’m just going down, grades are plummeting.
Please just give direction and some sort of positive result.
I feel like I have a 200kg vest on. My chest is compressed, it hurts to think and expel any emotion.

And let’s me honest I’m not over ‘him’

30 Day Blog Challenge- Days 28, 29, 30

Day 28- A picture of you last year and now, how have you changed ?

I haven’t changed much, apart from becoming more and more emotionally damaged.

Last year

Image

This Year

Image
Day 29- In this past month, what have you learnt

I am nothing, I get used and tossed away. I’m nothing but a toy to everyone. Someone starting with J actually hurt my feelings and left.

Day 30- Your favourite song

Oh I have so many
Josh Pyke- The Summer
Bon Iver- I can’t make you love me
Ben Harper- Walk Away
Iron and Wine- Boy with a coin
City and Colour- Northern Wind
José González- Stay Alive

Just to name very few