Well I fucked up to put it kindly

Are you fucking kidding me.

Am I that pathetic? that unworthy of something more?

I get stood on all the time, why do I let this happen.

What did I do wrong? I just want to leave and have a new life. Because I really can’t take much more of this.
There hasn’t ever been one person that wants to stick around in my life. Ever.

The world    50
Jenna-Rose  0

Go on keep laughing at me.

 

What have I done?

There’s a boy…
A boy that will be leaving soon but after a month of going back home will be back…
But then he’s leaving, I’m so sick of goodbyes :( I just want some one to stay in my life and want to be with me.

Right now it’s ‘just a little fun’…

Fun can end up hurting, because I fear I am falling and I don’t want him to leave

Dep-suff-ression

And when I thought I had gotten close to the bottom…the floor beneath me opened up.

I tried to recover, I tried to breath, I tried to smack a smile on my face.

If it’s in the romance area, work area, or uni area nothing good has come so far… I’m not good enough for one guy and another just wants me for a few nights if fun, I hardly get recognised at work and well uni I’m just going down, grades are plummeting.
Please just give direction and some sort of positive result.
I feel like I have a 200kg vest on. My chest is compressed, it hurts to think and expel any emotion.

And let’s me honest I’m not over ‘him’

30 Day Blog Challenge- Days 28, 29, 30

Day 28- A picture of you last year and now, how have you changed ?

I haven’t changed much, apart from becoming more and more emotionally damaged.

Last year

Image

This Year

Image
Day 29- In this past month, what have you learnt

I am nothing, I get used and tossed away. I’m nothing but a toy to everyone. Someone starting with J actually hurt my feelings and left.

Day 30- Your favourite song

Oh I have so many
Josh Pyke- The Summer
Bon Iver- I can’t make you love me
Ben Harper- Walk Away
Iron and Wine- Boy with a coin
City and Colour- Northern Wind
José González- Stay Alive

Just to name very few

 

30 Day Blog Challenge- Day 24, 25, 26 & 27

Day 24- A letter to your parents

‘It’s been hard, always was and always will be.
And I will constantly be reminded of that.

Cheers’

Day 25- What I would find in your bag

lipstick
lipstick
lipstick
reading glasses
tampons
pen
phone
keys
purse
ipad
tweezers
mini first aid kit
diary

Day 26- What you think about your friends

I am lucky, the people that actually want to stick by me must have tolerance, a big heart, and have no flipping clue what they’re in for.
all I can say is I’m sorry in advance, I can never do anything right, and one thing which sucks is that you will soon witness this.

Day 27- Why are you doing this 30 day challenge

Because I showed myself I can’t stick to a 30 day challenge…
and I like the fact that I can write what ever I want and no one cares, because I really am nothing to anyone.

The Horizon had been Defeated

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